Why the wagon always loses....

Quick! Are you a car enthusiast? Sure you are! That’s why you are on our site. And since we are all on the same page here… I’m going to yell at you. YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO GET YOUR BROWN TURBO-DIESEL 6-SPEED WAGON. Shut up about it.

Whew. Ok that felt good.

What am I on about? It’s simple. Every time an automaker comes out with a new crossover, someone yells from the internet trolly rafters, “SUVs suck! Get a wagon!’’

The problem is – those people yelling… don’t buy sh*t. Sales numbers don’t lie. Do you know who buys sh*t? The Average Joe. Who, by the way, is not as dumb as all us devout enthusiasts think he is.

Let me explain. Imagine you’re 30-40-something years old. You’ve got a bit more dough now… but also more responsibilities & commitments. You probably have a spouse and a couple kids, so you have to think about more people than just yourself. And you need a new car. So you swing buy your local Toyota dealership and start looking at the new Camry, because cars are A-to-B appliances for you. Then you realize something: the RAV4 sitting next to it is the same price. It has more cargo room, it’s easier to get in & out of, it’s easier to maneuver, has comparable gas mileage, hatchback versatility… and lo-&-behold… putting a child in one is a cinch! Sold. You go home happy & live out your warranty.

That’s the average consumer, and he/she has you fuming. We get it. You want that 6-speed turbo wagon! But listen – even if every automaker in the US made one… you still would complain. Oh and also not buy one.

Here’s how it plays out:

Customer: I want a 6-speed wagon. Manufacturer: Here ya go.

Customer: But I want it to be turbocharged. Manufacturer: Here’s a turbo model.

Customer: Now it’s too expensive. Manufacturer: We’ll give you the deal of a century.

Customer: Man I’d totally buy it… if you made it in brown.

Don’t listen to me, just look at the facts. Enthusiasts wanted Toyota to make a RWD sports car again, and they did with the FRS. It’s literally a great car, AND a terrible selling vehicle. The same people who begged for it at the top of their internet lungs, were the first to complain about it’s price & power.

Enthusiasts wanted Chevy to bring back a V8 muscle sedan after the G8, and they gave us the SS. Well guess what – that sold like crap as well. They sold 42 last month. No joke – 42!

I’ll throw you a bone here. VW made your precious little SportWagen. They sold ‘ok’, but still got eclipsed by every other crossover on the road.

In conclusion, we as enthusiasts are the most vocal critics out there. The problem is – we also tend be the worst customers. Impossible customers, in fact. So next time you feel passionately about a subject… go voice it. But wait until you’re seriously ready + capable to back it up with your checkbook.

“YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO GET YOUR BROWN TURBO-DIESEL 6-SPEED WAGON.”